Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It

I woke up from my nap with a terrible headache, which sometimes happens if I sleep for too long.  I laid there with my eyes closed for a few minutes, hoping the pain would subside.  Finally, I decided to get up and make myself a cup of coffee.  If you haven't noticed by now, coffee is my comfort food.  As I walked to the kitchen the pain got worse.  I felt as though my head had doubled in size while I was sleeping.  I started the coffee and turned around to see Bea and Lena staring at me.  "Oh, hey you two," I said halfheartedly.  "I really want to talk to you about this Buttery Sprite business but give me a minute, I need to take some Advil. My head is killing me!"  I said, heading for the cabinet.

"I think you're going to need more than Advil,"  Bea mumbled under her breath.  Meanwhile,  Lena seemed to be looking everywhere but at me.  This couldn't be good.  Just then Cora came fluttering into the room, took one look at me and said, "Oh my gosh, your head looks like a watermelon!"

"Cora!"  Bea and Lena scolded in unison.

 "What?  Look at her!"  Cora shot back.  "Did you think she wasn't going to notice?"    Before any of them could say another word I headed for the bathroom mirror.  I could not believe what was staring back at me.  Indeed, my head looked exactly like a seedless watermelon, literally.   The three miniature musketeers had followed me into the bathroom.   "I'll go find Maeve" Lena said to Bea and Cora.  "She'll know what to do."

And that was the beginning of  the Buttery Sprites attempts to get rid of me for knowing too many secrets of the fairy world.  Over the next four days, in addition to suffering from watermelon head, I was inflicted with the following "annoyances":

Incessant inner ear itch - Might not sound so bad to some of you, but if you've ever had this you know it is enough to drive a person completely mad.

A purple and pink rash covered my entire body and oozed a substance that looked and smelled like fruit punch.  (No, I did not taste it. Ew!)

Rubber bones, which came on while I was walking down the stairs.  Fortunately, I bounced.

And last but not least, I defied gravity for an entire afternoon. This one was actually kind of enjoyable.  I suspect the Buttery Sprites figured that since they couldn't knock me off, they would make me float into outer space instead.  Pretty clever when you think about it.  Except, of course, they forgot about ceilings.

Fortunately for me, Lena was right.  Maeve knew exactly what to do.  She looked straight out of a fairy tale with her long ice blue hair, beautiful blue crinoline lined dress and pearl tiara.  But don't let Maeve's (or Princess Maeve as she likes to be called) looks fool you for a minute.   She was 'large' and in charge.  Just minutes after the appearance of my lovely watermelon head, Maeve sprung into action and set a beautifully orchestrated plan in motion.

First, She sent Ella and Peaches off with a list of flowers and plants she needed to cure the Buttery Sprites' spells,  and instructions to ask the Pillywiggins to help.  For those of you who do not know, Pillywiggins are fairies who come to the human realm every spring to tend to the flowers and plants.  With their guidance, Ella and Peaches completed the task in no time.

Next, she assembled a team of Leprechauns and sent them off in search of a unicorn.  Yes, you read that right, a unicorn. Their instructions were to explain the situation to the unicorn and ask if he would be so kind as to supply them with a small vial of liquid from his horn.  If they were lucky enough to get it, they were to to guard it with their lives.

Bea, Cora, Lena and Phoebe were assigned the task of ridding the pantry of the Buttery Sprites.  This process took 4 long days and was a very secret affair to say the least. I couldn't get so much as a hint out of any of the fairies as to what was going on in my kitchen.  And frankly, judging by what I did know, I figure I was better off being left in the dark.  All I can tell you is when they finally finished their task, they slept for 2 straight days.

Meanwhile, Petunia set about creating all kinds of wonderful smelling potions that cured me of my various afflictions.  When I was finally back to normal and on the ground again, and the Buttery Sprites had been banished once and for all, she called for the leprechauns.  They entered my room with the entire fairy crew in toe.  One of them handed her a small box.  She held it in both of her tiny hands, closed her eyes and smiled. Then, she turned and handed it to me.  Inside was a beautiful, shiny penny with a lovely little flower at the top.  In the center of the flower was a tiny jewel.  I lifted it out of the box to see that it hung from a thin organza ribbon.  Petunia explained that the necklace was a gift to me for being a true believer and friend to the fairies. I was so touched that I almost cried. I thanked the fairies and told them how beautiful it was   Not only was it pretty, Petunia informed me, it was magic.

You see unicorns, as most of you probably know, are extremely innocent, gentle and loving creatures.  They are  much like human children in fact.  Just as the teeth of a human child contain magic, which we learned from the tooth fairies,  so does the horn of a unicorn.  As it turns out, the jewel on the pendant contains a tiny drop of liquid from a unicorn's horn.  Anyone who wears it is blessed with the magic of the unicorn.  That means they are able to see the good and beauty in all of the everyday things life brings, and experience them with the heart of a child.   And that my dear friends is the simple, yet ever elusive thing that brings what most of us spend our whole lives in relentless pursuit of..............true happiness.  Imagine that.

I put on my necklace and thanked the fairies again for their amazing gift.  Then Bea decided it was time to tell me the reason the fairies arrived in my sewing room on that fateful day in March.   "Here is your mission should you choose to accept it,"  she said looking quite serious.  She paused and took a deep breath.  "We want you to help them believe again.  I mean, really believe."

So.........how am I doing so far?

Unpublished work © 2011 Laurie Konevich

Monday, May 16, 2011

Finally Some Pictures!

Sorry it's taking me so long to post the next part of the story.  Things have been crazy around here lately.  I do have some exciting news though.  The fairies finally agreed to let me photograph them so I thought I would share a few pictures with you while you're waiting.  I hope you enjoy them!

I'll be back with another chapter of the story and more pictures soon!!
 © 2011 Laurie Konevich

Friday, May 6, 2011

Who could Make This Stuff Up?

 (continued from Pearls Of.....Wisdom?)

"You're pantry is infested with Buttery Sprites, but don't worry, we know how to get rid of them,"  Cora blurted out triumphantly.   "And just for the record, I warned everyone that this was going to happen but nobody ever listens to me."

Bea, picking up on  my state of total confusion, took over from there.  "Let me see, how can we explain this to you" she wondered out loud, rubbing her tiny chin with her hand.   After a minute or two she began again. "You've heard of pantry moths, right?   You know, those little moths that sometimes make their way into peoples pantries and make pests of themselves?"  Actually, I knew quite a bit about pantry moths, or so I thought,  because it happened to a dear friend of mine.  As I recall, they were a real pain in the neck to get rid of.   She tried everything but the little buggers were relentless.  Before I could share this with Bea, she continued.   "Well, they aren't really moths, they're Buttery Sprites.  They don't ever let humans see them.  They make sure of this by taking  the form of  moths whenever  they enter the human realm."  Bea paused to be sure that I was beginning to grasp what she was saying.  Once she was satisfied, she went on.

According to human folklore, Buttery Sprites are tiny fairies who, as Bea explained,  have never been seen by humans.  Their presence is known by missing food and by the vengeance they seek on humans who have cheated others.  They are known to live in old abbeys and inns in England.  They feel free to take any food not marked with a cross, especially fresh churned butter, which is where they got their name.  Personally, I had never heard of Buttery Sprites and felt pretty confident that most other modern day humans hadn't either.  Interestingly, if you Google them you'll get a few hits.  Who knew, right?

As it turns out, the folklore surrounding Buttery Sprites was pretty accurate information a couple of hundred years ago.   But, as the years passed and old inns and abbeys became fewer,  troops of Buttery Sprites decided to take up residence in the pantries of humans who have fairies living with them.  Unlike their ancestors who sought vengeance on humans,  these sprites do so because they are upset with the fairies who live there.

 You see, Buttery Sprites firmly believe that humans cannot be trusted.  Therefore,  if a fairy lets them self  be seen by one,  they put the entire fairy world in danger.  So, if the Buttery Sprites happen to get wind that there are fairies living in a human home, they move into the pantry.  Then they proceed to wreak havoc upon them until the fairies get so fed up that they leave, thus insuring no contact will be made. Only then, will the poor unsuspecting humans finally be rid of their 'pantry moths'.  That is, of course, unless the fairies know how to fight back.

The Buttery Sprites were now in my pantry because they were quite furious with the Magic Penny Fairies for befriending me, and worse, for telling me many of the secrets of the fairy world.  In the minds of the Buttery Sprites, this troop of Magic Penny Fairies and their Leprechaun friends was extremely dangerous and they were determined to put a stop to their risky behavior.   "Well, that's not so bad, " I reasoned.  "Cora said you know how to get rid of them, right?  So let's just do it"  I said, feeling a bit relieved about the whole thing.  The fairies began exchanging nervous glances.  That's when I realized there was more to the story.  I looked directly at Lena, knowing she would not be able to look me in the eye until she told me the rest.  It took approximately 2 seconds before she cracked.

"There's something else you should know,"  Lena confessed in a voice that was trying a bit too hard to be casual.  It was clear she was choosing her words very carefully, which was beginning to make me very uneasy.  "Now that you know a lot of  the secrets of the fairy world, the Buttery Sprites consider you to be dangerous too.  Don't worry though, they can't do you any serious harm.  No fairies can, which is one of the reasons we chose you in the first place.  The thing is, that isn't going to stop them from trying,  which might get a bit........annoying  for you until we get rid of them.  If we all work together it should only take a few days."   That was the second time during this conversation that the fairies told me not to worry, so naturally, panic immediately set in.  I couldn't seem to manage anything more than to stare at Lena like a deer caught in the headlights.   Meanwhile, dozens of questions swirled around in my head trying unsuccessfully to make their way to my mouth.

What was it about me that made all fairies unable to do me any real harm?  What exactly could they do to me?  What was it that the Magic Penny fairies had chosen me for?  And, why do these horrible little Buttery Fairy thingies produce poop that looks like pearls of all things?   Which leads to the question, do all fairies poop? And if the answer is yes, where had all the fairies living in my sewing room been doing their business for the past month?  Did I even want to know?  And the biggest question of all, why in the name of all that is holy, was I thinking about poop at a time like this?  Is this what being hysterical feels like?

I slowly became aware of a tiny voice telling me to take deep slow breaths while six little fairies, wings fluttering like crazy, held a brown paper lunch sack over my mouth.   To this day, I am completely incapable of thinking about this moment without letting out a laugh.  Can you imagine what this little scene must have looked like?  I'm sure at this  point you're beginning to think this is nothing more than a story.  Had it not happened to me I would be saying the same thing, believe me.  Think about it for a minute though.  Who could make this stuff up?

 Anyway, the fairies correctly assessed that I had heard quite enough for the time being.  They lead me to the couch to lie down, with a promise to answer all of my questions after I had rested for a bit and let what I had just been told sink in.  I think I should follow the wisdom of these clever little beings and do the same for you.  Go rest, we'll talk later.

Unpublished work © 2011 Laurie Konevich

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Pearls Of...........Wisdom?

Once the fairies were all outfitted to their satisfaction, I reopened my pincushion shop and tried to get back to my routine.  The problem was that I wasn't quite sure how to go about doing that with a bunch of tiny, well dressed house guests who by all appearances, had no plans to be leaving any time soon.  So, being of Italian descent,  I decided to start by stocking the kitchen with fairy friendly foods so that I didn't have to worry about what they would eat while I was at work.

  I went to the sewing room and gathered up the fairies to help me make a shopping list.  It turned out to be no easy task getting them to agree on what they wanted.   Blueberries were the only unanimous choice, so they were the first thing on the list.  Then, after much debate,  they finally agreed on strawberries, pears, honey, cream, butter, sunflower seeds,  bean sprouts, pea pods, and popcorn.   Just when I thought we were finally done and everyone was reasonably satisfied, someone suggested ice cream.  They were all very excited about this until I told them they had to choose one flavor.  The battle lines were drawn on this one for quite some time, but the leprechauns eventually wore the rest of them down and they reluctantly agreed on pistachio.

Armed with my list and feeling very optimistic, I headed off to the grocery store.  I strolled up and down the isles singing along to the music that was piped in over the speakers, then breezed through the check out feeling like I was finally going to get back to life as I knew it.  When I got home, I put on a pot of coffee having no idea how just how wrong I was.

 I was still singing and putting things away in the pantry when I noticed that something had chewed through a package of oatmeal.  Since we live in the woods, I immediately suspected mice.  I frantically began taking everything off the shelves expecting to find more chewed through boxes and droppings.  Much to my surprise, I found neither.  Puzzled, I grabbed the dust pan.  As I was cleaning up the spilled oatmeal I noticed some of it catching the light.  I picked up a few pieces and put them in the palm of my hand.  They looked like tiny rice shaped pearls. 

Suddenly aware of the fact that I was no longer alone, I  turned to see Cora, Bea , and Lena who was sparkling with pixie dust,  hovering over my shoulder.  Cora reminded me of a cherry blossom with her bright pink skirt and long cotton candy colored hair.  She was very lighthearted and was always singing to herself and dancing away, whether there was music playing or not.   She had a smile that was almost bigger than she was. At the moment, however, she was not smiling.   "I told you they'd find us," She said to Lena and Bea looking quite pleased with herself. They were all staring at the contents of my outstretched hand.

"Would one of you mind telling me what this is?"  I asked, not entirely sure I wanted the answer.  "It's poop!" Bea answered, looking at me like I was quite dense not to have figured this out on my own.  Lena, sensing my rising anxiety over this new development, suggested I pour myself a cup of coffee and have a seat.  This turned out to be a very good idea.  By now, a miniature crowd had gathered above my kitchen table.  There was something about the soft hum of their wings that  took me back to those long summer days of childhood,  and I immediately felt myself begin to relax.  So much so, that I was only slightly annoyed when I noticed that the pixies had made their way down to the kitchen on one of my favorite pink fuzzy socks that I had been searching for for weeks!  I settled back in my chair,  took a sip of my coffee and said,  "OK, I'm ready.  What's in my pantry?"

To be continued.  (Dun, dun, dun, dun...)

Unpublished work © 2011 Laurie Konevich